Cuts

Companies like Waterford Crystal talk about ‘root and branch restructuring’. In this image, the senior executives are like expert tree surgeons, tending to a frail and endangered conifer. Only by a drastic pruning programme -and copious quantities of manure- can the tree stand. The costly employees are like canker.

Five Go Apeshit Jihad In Forest

I just remembered something. The other night, the BBC 10 O’Clock News was showing shocking pictures of the jihadist training camp. And it was revealed that the suspected terrorists had gone paintballing as a cover for terror training.

What self-respecting terrorist would go paintballing?

The type of person who keeps under his pillow not a copy of the Koran , but of Who Moved My Cheese?, that’s who.

We are entering a dangerous epoch. These terrorists now move among us with chilling ease, fuelled on a lethal cocktail of jihadist eliminationist ideology and middle management change acceleration methodology.

They want to have us all live under Sharia law, with beheadings and stuff. And when we protest, they just shrug and offer platitudes like “people simply need to come to terms with the opportunities brought by change” and “we have a lot of great stories to tell”.

It All Boils Down To This

KARL MARX suffered from a skin disease that can cause severe psychological effects such as self-loathing and alienation, according to a British dermatologist.“In addition to reducing his ability to work, which contributed to his depressing poverty, hidradenitis greatly reduced his self-esteem. This explains his self-loathing and alienation, a response reflected by the alienation Marx developed in his writing.”

I am happy to report that my own arse is refreshingly free of pustulating carbuncles, a response reflected by the relative scarcity of posts of late.

Into It

Chocks Away

This used to scare the shit out of me when I was 8 or 9. In fact, it still does.

The Lazy Native Comes Home

They preferred immigrants because they were more reliable, were willing to work hard and were motivated and keen compared with British workers.

Immigrants are:

• Overjoyed to have escaped the world of Ladas and cabbages for good that they work out of pure gratitude;
• Wide-eyed at the sheer breadth of opportunity this pleasant land has to offer;
• Wise enough to realise that hard work pays;
• A breath of fresh air;
• A servant class worthy of the name.

British are:

• Slumped in front of Jeremy Kyle drinking vodka and coke, sitting atop half a Findus crispy pancake;
• Dumbed down wretches whose ‘those-who-can’t’ bog standard comprehensive teachers never taught them the inherent dignity of working in a call centre or cleaning toilets;
• Indolent, slovenly, X-factor obsessed shitehawks;
• An eternally ungrateful collection of bothersome swine with ideas above their station

What is lost is:

• If you think your home country is nice, wage differentials mean that it makes good sense to go and earn 3, 4 times your salary in Britain doing some menial job for a few years. You can then return loaded, to the astonishment and pride of your friends and relatives. A Brit who wanted to do this would have to go and work as an accountant in Bermuda or something. Not really an option these days for British farm and catering workers.
• The ability to send remittances to family is also a motivator.
• Immigrant workers are more likely to work longer hours, because they are less likely to have a family to support
• Immigrant workers are initially less bothered by the status of certain jobs. Unconcerned by these considerations, employers are grateful to immigrants for restoring the dignity inherent in asking if you want fries with that.
• If you’re working in another country, even the most menial and shitty of jobs can be more stimulating: you learn a new language, you get to know people from different places, and you can accumulate a load of stories to tell people when you decide to head home.

So, if you want to maximise your native British employees’ productivity, a good first step would be to deport their families to Turkmenistan and tell the workers that they’ll eventually be joining them once there is no longer any work.

Go To Hell, BBC

A BBC embed writes:

While most violence in Iraq is sectarian, Iraqi killing Iraqi, most violence against the US troops comes from Sunni militant groups.

They must win here if they are to leave Iraq.

• Note that ‘violence in Iraq’ excludes the presence of an occupying army.
• Note the acceptance as fact that the Americans ‘must win’. They don’t have to win at all. They only have to leave.
• Good old BBC: independent media at its best.

The Rumour About The Arabs

Anti-Semitism is the rumour about the Jews

-Theodor Adorno

Suspicious Reactions

Police suggested that Mr de Menezes may have reacted suspiciously when confronted by officers because he thought he may have had some drugs in his pocket or that a forged stamp in his passport had been discovered.

On the other hand, the rest of us, drug-free and lawfully present, know precisely how to act when, in a foreign country, we are all of a sudden confronted by police shouting and pointing guns.

Needless to say, the police have behaved impeccably throughout.

Supply to Demand: Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off

Oil-producing nations are resisting calls to increase supply, insisting that the rising prices are not caused by product shortages.

“There is no interruption of supply. There’s a lot of oil in the market”, said Abdalla El-Badri, secretary general of Opec, yesterday.

Royal Dutch Shell also said on Thursday that political tension and market speculation, not supply problems, were causing record oil prices.

 

• Political tension is down to demand for oil. Note: Demand for oil doesn’t necessarily mean demand for oil to burn now, just as demand for land doesn’t necessarily mean demand for land to farm now.
• Market speculation is down to demand for oil.
• Interaction of demand and supply determines price.
• Conclusion of OPEC, Shell: leave supply out of the equation. Stop demanding so much oil, and the price will fall. Thanks.

 

Am I missing something?