Shorter David McWilliams: women like heels and that’s like an arms race because of evolution which is why Irish people are building bigger kitchens with exotic fish but it’s all because stuff was going cheap and now it isn’t because everyone wants it and before you know it we’ll all be singing It’s a Fine Life from Oliver!. Today’s special is engine-smoked Hazlitt in a Dutch Gold reduction.
In an otherwise insightful piece on Nuala O’Faolain I read this:
When a radio interview with her lifelong friend, the broadcaster, Marian Finucane, was aired in Ireland in April, the country suffered a collective existential crisis.
No it didn’t, unless I’m living in a different country, which is possible, I suppose.
Yes, I know, damned lies and all that. But this headline:
is bigging things up a little. Imagine if the headline said:
342 sought treatment for cocaine use
Which is what in fact happened. Not very exciting, is it?
The Huffington Post:
As violence in Iraq continues — clashes today left 11 dead and 19 injured — President Bush has for the first time revealed the great sacrifice he’s made for the sake of our soldiers: he’s given up golf.
Some soldiers didn’t notice.
Lookit this report. It was a dream community all right, cos it was pretty impossible for poor people to break in and steal stuff. Only problem was, the rich people were only rich with money loaned from the bank anyway.
‘Gated communities’ are pretty sad places. Doesn’t matter how opulent they are, the gates and surrounding walls are there to keep the people in, even if their stated purpose is to keep undesirables out. The amount invested in keeping the rabble out is proportionate to the fear of getting violated and pillaged.
No doubt religious tradition has influenced the appeal of ‘gated communities’. Religious myth has it that heaven has gates. This image of heaven is an inversion of the actual condition of the poor on earth, in part an interpretation of the statement that the first shall be last. The image preserves the order of a society of haves and have-nots, but does a switcheroo on the people who fall under each category. This becomes a fairly nifty propaganda device for the ruling classes. So long as these poor suckers think they’ll get their eternal reward in heaven, we can exploit them for all they’re worth. In fact, the more we exploit ‘em, the happier they’ll be, because they’ll be eyeing even bigger rewards once their number’s up.
Queen were not the only performers to take green they didn’t need in the name of white power. Elton John, Rod Stewart, Julio Iglesias and many others can join them in a bow for shame. At the time the rock band claimed they weren’t “political” and were playing merely in the name of “entertainment”. Entertainment they were no doubt well paid for. Hall and Oates were once offered $2m to play Sun City. They refused, and described anyone who took the gig as “jerks“.
Hall and Oates are one of those acts I always thought, because of the musical spirit of the times in which I was growing up, were complete turd and to be avoided at all costs. But then I came across stuff like this:
and this:
And I thought…hot damn. Only I didn’t really think ‘hot damn’ because people from Armagh don’t think in those terms. But you know what I mean.
“I want people to stand up and have a backbone and stand to attention when you hear your anthem, and look at that flag and recognise there were people who went out one day with very little chance of victory, who were prepared to put their lives on the line so this nation could be reawakened to what was possible if we took control of our own affairs,” he said.
Inspiring. He’s right you know. In fact, we should be taking a leaf out of other countries’ books and hanging flags everywhere, all the time. Think how fantastic it would be to drive around Lucan and see every single semi detached house with an Irish flag in the front garden. Nothing would raise the national spirit more than a tricolour on every bumper on the M50. And they should make it mandatory to play the national anthem at the closure of nightclubs. Maybe it is mandatory, but my drinking habits prevent me from noticing. In which case, they should make it illegal for people to get so drunk that they can’t stand for the national anthem. No: they should make it legal for bouncers to shoot people who don’t stand for the national anthem. Everyone should download Amhrán na bhFiann as a ringtone, and Gardaí should perform ’stop and recite’ searches where they check if people know the words. They should also ban people from singing ‘oo baby let the free birds fly’ when The Fields of Athenry is getting played. Or maybe they should make it compulsory? I am undecided.
Their new album is quite funny, though I don’t know yet if it will stand the test of time for comedy albums, which is usually about 2 and a half plays.
…and that means I’m going out to get me a big bag of drugas.
As in:
And finally, we talked about drugs — drugas. And I assured him I understood that the drug issue is two-way: One, that because too many of our citizens use drugs it provides an avenue for the movement of drugs. And we’ve got to do a better job in America reducing the demand for drugs. And we must also help our friends in the neighborhood deal with the suppliers of drugs.
That’s President Bosha talking. He a speaka de espanish.
Up to 3,000 Black Headed Gulls and Mew Gulls eggs were stolen from the Copeland Islands last summer.
It is thought they are being bought by restaurants in the south-east of England for about £6 to £7 per egg.
I can see the menu: Our eggs come from gulls fed on only the finest Northern Ireland landfill.
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