I walked about trying to figure things out, and suddenly, paying attention to the faces all around me, realized that I was surrounded by extremely white-skinned people all glaring angrily at me.
The immediate, instinctive sense I had was that I had died and gone to Purgatory, and faced 30 billion years justifying myself to dead Liveline callers. I wasn’t far out. Quite quickly I realised that I had discovered the middle of the Aer Lingus queue.
If only he’d written ‘Quite quickly I realised I was John Waters’.