Archive for May 27th, 2009

Alive And Well

Hugh Green

to editor

show details 14:04 (0 minutes ago)
Follow up message
from Hugh Green
to editor [at ]alive [ dot] ie
date 27 May 2009 14:04
subject Classified Ad in this month’s paper

Dear Editor,

Thank you very much for the latest free copy of Alive!, which I always get a kick out of reading.

I had a question about the Classified Ads section.

One ad reads:

Most beautiful flower of Mt.Carmel, fruitful vine, splendour of heaven, BI, Immaculate Virgin, assist me in my necessity. O star of the sea, help me and show me herein you are my mother. O Holy Mary, mother of God, queen of heaven and earth, I humbly beseech you from the bottom of my heart, to succour me in this necessity (make request). There are none that can withstand your power. O show me herein you are my mother. O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us, who have recourse to thee (say 3 times). Sweet Mother I place this cause in your hands (3 times). Say this prayer for 3 consecutive days. Publish it and your request will be granted. MG.

A quick check in Microsoft Word tells me there are 121 words in that ad. The cost per word for submitting an ad is €1, so that means posting that ad would have cost €121. I can only assume, therefore, that the prayer must work, since no-one would be desperate enough to invest €121 in nothing.

My question, therefore, is procedural. I need a Land Rover, and I was thinking of asking Mary for one. However, I am also short on cash, and spending €121 on an ad that doesn’t work would leave me without any food in the cupboard for the rest of the month. So I was thinking that I could ask Mary for both a Land Rover and €121 to cover my initial expenditure. My question is whether I can submit a request for a Land Rover and €121, or if I need to submit two separate requests for this. If I need to submit two separate requests, do you think I should make an initial request of €242, thereby covering the cost of the first and second request, and then submit the second request for the Land Rover on receipt of the €242? Or should I just go ahead and make the first request for the Land Rover?

Any light you could shed would be most appreciated.

Hugh Green

Update: The Editor replied:

Re your question, I think the best approach would be a brief request for some good sense. That would not cost too much, and if granted it could transform your life, though the Land Rover might not be included.
God bless,

Touché, M. L’éditeur.

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May 2009