Archive for March 5th, 2009

Tips for Bloggers

:en:Jean François de Troy, The Oyster Lunch, 1...
  1. No-one gives a rat’s ass what you think
  2. Try not to console yourself about point 1 with ‘well, I just write for myself’. Because the ‘I’ in that sentence probably isn’t who you think it is.
  3. Remember that when you’re writing passionately about how unhappy you are with your political leaders, and how oh! we need change in this country! they – the people you want to take over- are probably laughing at you and yours over champagne and suckling pig, plotting even more misery.
  4. Keep it simple, mainly by not writing anything.
  5. Don’t endlessly obsess about the quality of your writing. See point 1.
  6. Most blogs come to an end. Make sure you’re ahead of the pack on this!
  7. You know those sunny bloggers who talk earnestly about the dangers of posting potentially libellous content? They’re laughing. Mainly at you. I say get your own back.
  8. Page stats schmage schtats. In the Real of blogging, page stats matter, they’re an authentic measure of authority and popularity and respect. But you’re not in the Real of blogging. You’re in the imaginary. See point 2.
  9. If you want to test if something you have written is funny or not, force yourself to laugh at it. If you get a real giggle as a result, it’s probably jaw-shatteringly hilarious.
  10. Try to use ‘but hey’ at least fifty times in every post.

Better, Faster, Stronger

The superb Kapitalism101 explains a few things. The conclusion I reproduce here:

But labor hasn’t always been like this and it doesn’t have to be like this. There is nothing about labor itself that requires it to be unskilled, repetitive or brutish. But once a change has become generalized throughout society we tend to think that life has always been this way: that labor has always been a commodity and that it is “progress” to attempt to cheapen labor whenever possible. From the perspective of capital this is indeed progress: the progress of making profit. But from the perspective of humanity there is nothing progressive or efficient about wasting human life and potential merely to feed the insatiable appetite of capital.

And You Know You Are

Tempers flare as United strengthen grip on title – Premier League, Soccer –

Moments after Taylor wrapped his left arm around Ronaldo’s neck, then cleared out Michael Carrick – for which Taylor was fortunate to be shown a yellow card – Ronaldo and Taylor squared up and Ronaldo informed Taylor that he is a “rubbish footballer”. According to an eye witness, Taylor hit back with: “And you’re ugly.”

This is an alleged confrontation, so I treat the apparently verbatim quotations with some suspicion. I have some experience of playing football (and, gulp, refereeing) in England, albeit not quite at the level of Mr dos Santos Aveiro. At no time did I hear any English footballer, from whom it is likely Ronaldo learned to articulate thoughts about football in colloquial terms, use the adjective ‘rubbish’, a term which not even the most unworldly of public schoolboys would use on the field of play. I conclude, therefore, that ‘rubbish’ is the closest thing to ‘shit’ that the reporter feels comfortable using.

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March 2009
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