Cat Altogether

Oh sweet Jesus another big cat story. Only it turns out that it wasn’t a cat but a dog. Long-term readers probably know that I think these stories are concocted by security personnel for reasons unclear and unknown, but likely something to do with altering the spatial perception of urban populations. This is, of course, a conspiracy theory for which I have zero evidence. And the problem in this particular case is that whilst in the past most of these stories simply disappeared without any conclusion made public, here, it’s all over. So how do you tell ‘big cat’ stories in future when people know that it’s just probably a big dog that appears as a big cat to winos and the highly suggestive? To salvage any sort of effectiveness for this type of operation in future, I recommend that the security forces poison this dog immediately.

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