Gulp

  • Eating slices of toast without cutting them in half first. Barbarous behaviour for those of us whose mouths are not the size of letterboxes.
  • Putting the cereal-less bowl to your head and drinking the milk. Jesus Christ.
  • Dunking buns -plain buns- into tea or coffee. Revolting. The soggy crumbs floating about remind me of plane crash victims.
  • Dipping a banana into hot chocolate. Highly questionable behaviour.
  • Mashing up a banana. Fine for babies. Not fine for people over 5.
  • Licking a knife with jam.
  • Sticking the licked knife into the butter.
  • Licking a knife with mayonnaise on it. They should bring back flogging, I say.

There are limits to one’s tolerance. I am very intolerant of the eating habits of others.

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3 Responses to “Gulp”


  1. 1 Donagh June 25, 2008 at 9:18 am

    Have you joined a commune?

  2. 2 Hugh Green June 25, 2008 at 9:49 am

    No, I had a -pardon the cliché- Proust-like experience last night as I bit into a slice of toast, after pondering whether or not to cut it, I started remembering all those moments when, sitting at the table, I felt revolted by the table habits of others.

  3. 3 Donagh June 26, 2008 at 9:16 am

    One thing that surprised me recently is how irritated I get by other people’s eating habits in the office. For example, when a person near you pulls out an apple at exactly the same time every day and eats it in exactly the same way. There is nothing particularly annoying about this and I’m sure I piss other people off with my little rituals, but perhaps because I just noticed it one day and now I notice it EVERY day. I’m sure there’s a Dilbert cartoon about this.


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