Oh Calcutta

Dublin’s traffic congestion ranks as among the worst in Europe, with a survey of international cities revealing that congestion was only worse in Calcutta.

You’ll never guess where I was mid-morning yesterday. On the M1, north of the port tunnel, busting for a slash. Operation Freeflow indeed.

Tell you what though, whatever the hellfire and brimstone they might spit over the phone to their TD when their second provisional licence is no longer valid, Irish drivers are oddly accepting of their gridlocked fate. Not one of the thousands of drivers beeped their horn in anger at the situation. Maybe they were all fiddling with their satnav equipment, in case they might ever need to use it.

I was thinking about the proliferation of big ignorant cars on Irish roads. At first glance, one is inclined to think that this is evidence of chronic status-seeking on the part of a substantial whack of the population. Yet this ignores the fact that many people have to live in their cars. Would you deny them the luxury? Have a heart. It’s Christmas.

Next year’s Christmas toy: In-car fart filters.

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5 Responses to “Oh Calcutta”


  1. 1 copernicus December 18, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    Thankfully, I live in the city centre so I feel quite sanguinary bout the whole thing.

    I think it’s interesting though that the ginger care given to the container at the centre of the affair must have ended up costing untold millions given that hundreds of thousands of commuters were caught up in whole affair.

    Be interesting to find out what the value of the container’s load was. The insurance is probably paying out anyway.

  2. 2 Hugh Green December 18, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    I bet it was 50 crates of satnavs.

  3. 3 copernicus December 18, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    I think it was little orange batons for Operation Freeflow.

  4. 4 Tomaltach December 19, 2007 at 11:59 am

    Try these, fart filtering chair pads
    http://www.shopinprivate.com/flatfarfilch.html

    according to the brochure
    The Flat-D (stands for flatulence deodorizer) is a high tech filter that was original designed to defend against chemical warfare. Chemical defense suits were originally made of the material. Well, our fine inventor friend noticed that whenever he passed gas in his chemical suit, you couldn’t smell it. The Flat-D was born.

  5. 5 Hugh Green December 19, 2007 at 11:25 pm

    Christ. You couldn’t make it up.


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