Swede Emotion

Apparently the PSNI were over in Spain learning about traffic control at an IKEA store.

Also of interest would have been what they could learn from crowd control inside the IKEA store, if they managed to drag themselves away from scarfing down the plastic meatballs.

I was at one in Spain last year. Forget the functional matter-of-factness of its furniture, the design masterpiece is the shop itself: laid out like an experimental obstacle course for hordes of giant rats. You shuffle around, sweating and fearful of the thousands of mad-eyed furniture fetishists traipsing behind you, yelping and howling with delight at the plain slimline bookcases lent an air of Nordic sophistication by the sparse clusters of Swedish titles on the shelves. The point seems to induce anxiety and hysteria, so that people flee the place quick smart but pick up at least one product to confer the unpleasant experience with some meaning and to get the hell out of there before they get flattened or eaten.

If I ever return, it’ll be because I’m getting fitted out for a flat-pack coffin.

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3 Responses to “Swede Emotion”


  1. 1 Twenty Major December 11, 2007 at 9:39 pm

    They should have sent the cops to the Ikea store that got hit and runned (I know)the other day.

  2. 2 Hugh Green December 11, 2007 at 9:42 pm

    Hitted and runned, dumbass.

  3. 3 Twenty Major December 12, 2007 at 9:33 am

    I deserve to be slappeded for making that mistake


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