Voicing Opinions

At this moment in time [and I use this cliché because I am still incapable of managing to make the computer recognize my pronunciation of the three letter word that indicates something happening in the present tense], I am at a loss for something to say.

The intention when I set up the voice recognition software was not to write posts of less than three lines, but long and luxurious pieces full of diverting digressions and terrifyingly fluent tangents. However, I presently find myself speaking like Steve Staunton after a 6-0 home defeat to Liechtenstein.

And, to tell the truth it doesn’t seem to be saving me all that much time at the moment. It would have been just as quick for me to type the above two paragraphs. The point wasn’t to save myself from repetitive strain injury to my fingers, but rather to use more fruitfully the time I have to write this wedlock. (That should be weblog – I’m just leaving it in so you can see what I have to put up with)

Maybe the best approach to writing posts, at least interesting ones, would be to jot down a few ideas beforehand and then simply talk through them slowly. It is too much to expect that wondrous words will appear on the screen by the mere act of opening one’s mouth, especially given the constraints imposed by the culturally imperialistic software supplied by Microsoft. Wait a second – I spoke too soon. If I say the aforementioned three letter word meaning ‘presently’ with a Lurgan accent, it recognizes it. Maybe Microsoft kidnapped an entire housing estate from Craigavon to perform their user acceptance testing.

On the other hand, when I try to say <typing>How Now Brown Cow</typing>, it comes out as ‘pioneer and Harry’.

I was going to write another post, the first words of which were supposed to be ‘Denny Sausages’. Microsoft Word recognised it as ‘Denise of the Jews’.

4 Responses to “Voicing Opinions”


  1. 1 fearganainm March 29, 2007 at 11:39 am

    So that’s what ‘The end is nigh’ means!

  2. 3 lolarusa April 4, 2007 at 12:46 am

    I’d be curious to see an uncorrected post.

  3. 4 hughgreen April 4, 2007 at 8:22 am

    Yeah, I might do one at the weekend. It’s a lot more difficult to think up stuff spontaneously than I originally imagined.


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