Archive for March 6th, 2007

….in which our protagonist is at a loose end

I never got round to reading No Logo when it came out, since I was doing other things at the time, like getting a McDonald’s arch tattoed to my forehead and nicking one item a week out of Starbucks so’s my front room could become a shrine to their foul coffee and silly flavoured croissants. Rare is the evening these days when I am able to watch a whole episode of Eastenders without some intruder with a laptop and a goatee breaking my concentration by typing ‘heh’ over and over and slurping away at his disgusting brew, his beard tangled with foam.

Not that it matters all that much these days, since Eastenders is probably going through the worst set of storylines I have endured in the ten or so years I’ve been watching it. Even on a good day, an episode is sure to have its moments that leave me attempting auto-asphyxiation with a cushion. Nothing kinky, mind: it’s just that I have to find a quick way of averting my eyes and ears from the garbage unfolding on screen.

These days, prim Dr May (the second dullest character ever to grace the soap) is at her wit’s end in trying to make sure her husband Rob (the dullest) uses every tool of persuasion and seduction at his disposal to prevent Dawn, who is pregnant with his child, from having an abortion. Watching this is the televisual equivalent of fifty lashes.

There must be something else I could be doing with that half-hour after dinner four evenings a week.

Speaking of half-hours, I’ve just spent half of the last one writing a comment in the text box for submitting on the Irish Independent’s website about one of its wonderful opinion pieces. Turns out that when you submit it, it disappears, and then you get a message saying that it has to be moderated. You can’t click ‘back’ to see what you wrote either. This is nothing if not a pain in the behind. Either the site is extremely unpopular for comments, or the moderator is being steadfastly censorious, or lax, or all of the above. Or maybe it doesn’t work. No matter.

I wonder if my failure to make an appearance has something to do with the following guidelines:

Comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site.

God knows what constitutes ‘inappropriate comments’ in Indoland, but the gist of my comment was a suggestion that Ian O’Doherty might not be applying the same principles if he had been deliberately targeted by someone peeing in his letterbox. Come to think of it, maybe the moderator might conclude that I was threatening to take a slash through his front door or something. Nothing could be further from the truth, your honour.

Update: Lo! It is there now.

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March 2007