Archive for December 11th, 2006

Royal Buggers

I remember exactly where I was when I heard Diana had been in a car crash. I was waiting for a Chinese takeaway after a visit to a local nightclub, and I recall forgetting all about her as soon as I got my Egg Fried Rice. Then, when I woke the next day, I heard she was dead. I remember exactly what I was doing when I heard, too: eating a slice of toast smeared with Low Low margarine.

But enough about me. More important is the revelation, kind of, that she was getting bugged by the American Secret Service.

I don’t believe this for one instant, unless the American Secret Service contains a crack cadre of Hello! Magazine enthusiasts.

A more likely explanation is the fact that there are always conspiracy theories in the run-up to Christmas. This is also the work of the American Secret Service.

Radical Cleric

Hot on the heels of Michael Stone’s valedictory scribbles to the Telfast Bellylaugh, another loyalist’s writing makes the Sunday Tribune:

Pastor Kenny McClinton to Ian Paisley Junior:

“And while we are at it YOUNG MAN, don’t you ever in your life question my loyalty or commitment to the country I love! There’s more loyalty in my big toe than you have in your entire body!

“Where were whippersnappers like YOU when I was walking the wings of the H-blocks stark naked on the loyalist blanket protest? Where were you then, BOY?

“How dare you throw snide remarks at me. I went out on the 10th May 1977 and shot a man DEAD to take all public transport off the roads of Ulster – why? Because I was into shooting people dead? No! In an attempt to back up your father’s less than popular call for a strike.

“Like the rest of you political clowns, you make plenty of TALK but actually do nothing but draw wages. I’m finished with you, and your party.”

‘Whippersnappers’ is a word from a bygone era. It’s like something you would find in the speech bubble of a WWII shell-shock victim in the 1980 Warlord annual.

He goes on to talk about how he shot a man dead in support of Ian Paisley. The man was a bus driver called Harry Bradshaw, who had stopped to pick up passengers during the Loyalist strike.

One senses that the contradiction between loving one’s country and shooting one’s countrymen is not one that the Pastor has spent much time exploring. Of course, he is not alone in that.

I on Twitter

December 2006