Archive for May 18th, 2006

I’m gonna take it to the bridge…

Are they putting some sort of hormone in the water supply these days – one that tampers with people’s ability to find the right words for things? Here’s another malapropism I heard today:

“…and then there was this one time at this open air event in Sydney this punk band got up on stage and beat the shit out of an aperture of the Aussie PM.”

Now that sounds like a damn unpleasant punishment, even for someone as obnoxious as John Howard.

What the speaker meant to say, of course, was that they beat the shit out of an effigy of the Aussie PM. Yet there is too much of a difference between ‘effigy’ and ‘aperture’ for comfort: I suspect that this may have been a case of malapropism squared: that is, a malapropism of a malapropism. The best fit for the ‘bridge’ word seems to be ‘apogee’.

Individual Belief

I pity any child who gets the crap of creationism shovelled at them in the course of their formal education. Read this guff:

“I tell children that I believe in a six-day creation, a matter of thousands,
not millions of years ago,” she explains. “But that is an individual belief, and
there is no policy on it running through the new Christian schools. If you don’t
mention evolution to the children at a young age, they are naturally
creationist. It fits how they see the world. There’s no doubt that God is the
creator and the Bible is reliable. We introduce evolution to them as part of the
debate at secondary age.”

If you’re prepared to accept a principle of ‘individual belief’, then you can consider yourself entitled to believe pretty much anything. I believe the Russian Revolution never happened. In fact, I believe Russia doesn’t even exist. I believe Dante smoked Marlboro Lights. I believe Porky Pig won a gold medal at the Montreal Olympics. I believe dogs born in Ireland have a special aptitude for reading hieroglyphics. The Da Vinci Code is true. What? You don’t agree? Well, it’s my individual belief, and isn’t it rather arrogant of you to tell me I’m wrong?

In fact, your unwillingness to engage in the debate about these issues is rather revealing, I have to say.

The Age of Descent

I got a mail from a colleague:

A few questions on the specifics, but everyone on the call understood the
objectives. No cries of descent!

Does he mean that there were no wailing children in the background?


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