Archive for January 20th, 2006

Beastly Muzak

So what’s the worst hold music you’ve ever heard? I’ve just been onto a well-known furniture retailer who had a pan-pipe version of ‘Beauty and The Beast’ playing.

Years ago I worked in a supermarket that used to pipe special made-for-Supermarket versions of well known songs. There were many ghastly moments, not least a version of The Candyman, which must have provided the inspiration for the FBI’s Operation Candyman.

Perhaps the worst one, though, was a version of Barry Manilow’s I Write The Songs (though Manilow didn’t actually write it).

The voice was a passable imitation of Manilow himself, but it was sung in the style of a man who had just woken up in a bath of ice to discover he was one kidney short.

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Searching for Trouble

So Google has resisted attempts by the US Department of Justice to force it to hand over information on its users’ search terms and web addresses. How unreasonable. The innocent, of course, have nothing to fear, so long as they think nice thoughts.


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