Disaster: the Herald AM free newspaper does not have any ‘scientists discover cure for cancer’ story today. This is a clear indication that human progress has ground to a halt, and that end times are near. The good news is that multi-millionaire Naomi Campbell found solace in sweeping floors. Clearly floor-sweepers ought to be more content with their lot.
Given the immense value modelling brings to the community, as evidenced by the vast sums models receive in payment and the amount of media attention they receive, floor sweepers convicted of petty crimes should be made to find solace and rehabilitation in modelling swimwear.